Go. Feed my sheep.

Peter is the rock on which God built His church. But fist, Peter was probably the worst disciple ever. I am Peter.
Jesus tells Peter the Peter will deny Him 3 times; Peter says, “No! I love you, I could never deny you, Lord.” Yet we all know that Peter does in fact deny Jesus 3 times. I know in my heart and my soul and the core of my being that I LOVE the Lord, that I would do anything for Him, go to the ends of the earth for Him, but how often do i forget to give the Glory back to His name? How often do I take compliments without giving Him the credit, without the honor and praise back to God who has given me this work? Do I, as Peter, deny Jesus the glory that is His?
Jesus told His disciples that it was God’s will for Him to be arrested. He went willingly when the soldiers came to take Him, but enthusiastic, loving Peter raised his sword and cut off a soldier’s ear. I’m sure Jesus chuckled and shook His head as He put the ear right back on the man. “put your sword away,” Jesus commanded, “shall I not drink the cup the Father has given me?” I am Peter. I have my own time frame. When I don’t see things happening, I try to make them happen. And Jesus says, “Put away your sword, put away your plans. Shall we not do what the Father has asked of us?” So like Peter, I put away my plans, my defenses, and watch as everything happens perfectly, in God’s own timing.
After Jesus had risen, He appeared to His disciples while they were fishing. When Peter saw his beloved Savior, He excitedly jumped out of the boat and began swimming where Jesus stood. Needless to say, the boat probably reached the shore long before Peter. I am Peter. Excitedly jumping into things, and then standing, sopping wet, at the feet of the Lord, smiling at my stupidity. I get excited, forget to think things through, and end up doing them the long way. Every time, though, just as with Peter, Jesus welcomes my soaking wet self into His arms and is simply happy to see me.
I am Peter who made many mistakes, but I am Peter who God had great plans for, who God established to do His work. Peter is the rock on which Jesus built His church. The very night that Perter foolishly jumped out of the boat, Jesus reinstated Him in the presence of the other disciples. “Do you truly love me?” He asked. “Then feed my lambs.” “Do you really love me? Take care of my lambs.” “Peter, DO YOU LOVE me? Feed my sheep, and come. Come follow Me.”
For each time that I deny God the Glory that is His, for each time I follow my will instead of listening to His, for each time I jump ahead without first consulting my Lord, He asks, “Daughter, do you truly love me?” and I do. “Feed my sheep.” And I will. And I do. “Come follow me.” And I am, or at least I am trying.

I am Peter. I mess up. I make mistakes, I am far from perfect, and God will use me. God will establish great things through me. You are Peter. God already knows that you will make a mess, but His plan for you is great. Go. Feed His sheep.

- Katie Davis
Source: http://www.patheos.com/blogs/kissesfromkatie/2007/11/254/

I just wanted to share this post by Katie Davis, it was this time last year that I was reading her book Kisses for Katie for the first time and she quoted from her journal in her book this post. It was what helped me decided last year that I would go back to Africa. It was rough the first time and hard on me to see all of the extreme poverty and I knew I wanted to go back, but I wanted to know that it was God's will for me to go back. I was currently in college and overwhelmed with working in Portland at my fathers insurance agency and driving back and forth everyday to classes. Also trying to figure out the right career and what I was going to do with my life and trying to find time for my boyfriend and friends on top of it. And I just didn't know if I had time to go back to Africa.

Reading her passage about Peter in her book was what confirmed it for me. And i'm so glad I went back.

Now this year I am 100% sure I am going back to Uganda this May, but I have a new decision to make. I am considering staying longer than a week, perhapes an extra month or two. I am praying for direction and if this is really something God would have me to do or if he would rather use me here in the US.