Patient Reflections

Lamentations 3:25

"The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, 

To the soul who seeks Him. "

Sometimes life can be exhausting. 

And in those sometimes, God is usually the only one

that seems to be tenderly drawing me in. 

Tonight I reflected. 

Sometimes I feel like time is not my friend. 

I've boarded a lot of planes in my life and looking out that window

Time is what is always looking back at me. 

As I look out those familiar plane windows my thoughts always

 wonder back to the same thing. That time has come and gone and it 

just keeps moving and there is no way of stopping it. 

Now only last for one second. 

But those many seconds make up our time and 

our time can teach us about tomorrow. 

And even when time is full of pain and loss, 

things have to keep moving, because 

tomorrow is just another day and to quote Hootie and the Blowfish

I don't believe in time. 

although God has taught me some great things this past year. 

I have had some of the hardest times of my life. 

And I am just tired. 

I've loved and I've lost and everything just keeps moving 

and moving…

and tonight as I reflect, I finally realized why I feel so exhausted. 

And I stopped being so hard on myself for all my mistakes and 

messy emotions. 

When you sincerely ask JESUS to break your heart for what breaks HIS. 

He doesn't hold back. 

and sometimes it just hurts. 

and it's okay. 

Because that's how we learn. 

Through our pain we can learn a lot about ourselves. 

Nothing prepares you for how hard it will be to love on these little children by day and walk away from them knowing that they will go back to sleep on the streets at night. 

No one but God is there when you lie awake 

in your bed at night in Uganda listening to the thunder and storm and wondering where those children are sleeping, and if they are cold or wet or crying. 

Nothing prepares you how to handle a situation when a sweet little boy falls asleep in your lap and doesn't wake up and has to be rushed to the clinic by a boda boda in Kampala traffic and you're the only one to take him. 

and nothing prepares you for how hard it is to 

try to care for him after that and better his situation only to have him end back up on the streets. 

nothing prepares you for how awful the feeling 

is the next time you try to go back and find 

him only to get more bad news..

 It hurts and there's no way around it.

No one tells you how hard it is to stay in contact with those you desperately want to help when you have to leave. 

Nothing prepares you for how deeply you will fall in love 

with a little girl who you will teach to walk

and literally ache and cry when she gets sick 

and feed her and dress her and wipe away her tears. 

I never knew how much I would cry, when comes 

time to board a plane and go back home and break that bond. 

Nothing prepares you for all the orphans in the 

orphanages and on the streets that you will see day in and day out. 

And no one warns you how bad it will hurt to see it 

and how much your heart will ache to care for them. 

<><><><>

No one tells you that it might be the last time that you 

get to hold one of these little ones, because tomorrow

they may go home to be with Jesus. 

<><><><>

Sometimes you're not even mourning yourself, 

you're just mourning with others. 

<><><><><><>

Nothing prepares you for how much it will hurt to break 

up with your boyfriend of 3 years because 

your lives are going in different directions. 

Nothing prepares you for how homesick you start to become, 

for the small things you use to take for granted. 

somewhere along the way, I became numb and usually wasn't 

until coming home that all my bottled up emotions 

would come pouring out. 

If there is one thing I've learned 

it's that time 

does not wait for you to catch up. 

It just keeps moving. 

So I decided not to believe in time. 

I'd rather believe in Jesus. 

Because He does wait for me to catch up. 

He waits even when no one else will. 

He doesn't push me to keep going 

when I am tired. 

Because sometimes I don't even know how worn out 

I actually am until he says 

"wait and rest in me" 

My humanness inside of me says hurry, you got to keep moving, 

because time will leave without you. 

But Jesus says wait on me. 

Seek me and allow me to guide you. 

Don't run ahead without me and wear yourself out. 

The other day I was thinking back to 

all the different places I have been this last year or so. 

I have stayed in so many hotel rooms, guest houses, friends houses, 

orphanages, and even renting a room at a home with 8 girls in california. 

Sleeping in new places, doesn't phase me. 

honestly I wish I had pictures of all the different 

beds I have slept in, in my life. 

They would add up fast. 

A bed and a house are important things in someones life. 

They provide a comfortable and safe place 

for resting. Someones home is their fortress in a way. 

One of the things that has worn me out more than anything. 

Is lack of stability in where I'm staying. 

I'm moving from one place to the next. 

But none of these places I can really call my own. 

My fortress. 

And it's okay. 

Because right now, Jesus, is teaching me that He is my fortress. 

No matter where I am, He is my home. 

And I am to rest in Him. 

It's not easy. 

It can be very uncomfortable at times. 

But it's necessary. 

Because home is where the heart is. 

And my heart should always be rested in Jesus. 

Even though, this past year has been one of the hardest

in my life. 

And there are always going to be things I wish I 

could have done differently. I wouldn't trade all 

that I have learned about myself, about this life 

and about my Lord and savior

I don't regret loving even though there is loss.

I don't regret trying even when I fail. 

I don't regret continuing on even when it hurts. 

"Lord, today you know what I need to do, 

But you can do more in my waiting than in my doing I could do. 

So I won't run anymore. 

I'm waiting on you. "

- Bethany Dillion

Just a little update...

 Hello!

I just wanted to update and share with everyone what God has been doing in my life lately.


When I came back from Uganda in December, after lots of prayer, I made the decision to attend Eternity Bible College in Simi Valley California.

I am studying for my Global Ministry Certificate

In the fall I started an online class through Eternity, which I continued online while I was in Uganda and really enjoyed the class. My younger brother Landry had started his first semester at Eternity last fall and was also encouraging me to
come to Simi Valley.



I started my first semester here in January and am currently living in a beautiful little house with three other girls.

God provided the perfect place for me to live and I have been extremely blessed with a wonderful landlord who is so sweet (yes even sweet enough to plant us an herb garden in the back yard and flowers to attract the butterflies).

not to mention we also have a lemon and orange tree!!

I have been even more blessed by my 3 roommates who I have connected with so easily and have become great friends with over the course of a few months.









It was so clear after moving out here that this is exactly where I am suppose to be in this season. I love my classes and professors and have met so many awesome people while being out here, I couldn't be more grateful for all of the new friends I have made at EBC.


If any of you are looking into Bible College I would defiantly recommend checking out EBC
http://eternitybiblecollege.com/

Aside from school I have also been involved in some volunteer work down in South LA.
Currently on Thursday nights I am helping out with a kids class at Cornerstone South LA.
http://www.cornerstonesouthla.com/#
This is also the church that I attend most Sundays.

Down the street from this church is a little hispanic church that me and one of my roommates attended one Sunday, needless to say, despite the language barrier, the members of this church have become dear friends of ours and never fail to invite us over to eat with them Sunday's after church.
(perhaps this should be a blog post in itself)


We have had a couple worship & dinners at our house along with some hilarious game nights. I can't express how thankful I am for the friends I have made here at EBC.



I will be home soon to visit for spring break!


<><><><><><><><><><>


and then at the end of this Semester I will be heading back to Uganda for the summer.
Although I know God always has other plans, here are the...

Goals for this summer's trip:

• Learning Luganda I will be scoping out some of the language classes available in Kampala, which hopefully I can start my next trip, because I will not be staying long enough this time to attend any official classes. I have already began my own personal language study here at home. And I have some friends in Uganda who will be helping me along in my progression and immersion.
• History and Culture Immersion 
  I will be visiting some of the history museums and culture centers around to educate myself more on the culture and history of Uganda. I believe it is important for me to know the people and culture I am ministering to better and there is still so much to learn! On my latter trips I never took the time to learn more about this beautiful country and it's culture by visiting some of these places that provide so much insight into the history of Uganda.

• Village MinistryI have a few villages that I will be visiting this trip. One of  them is Mosolita village (I know I spelled this wrong), this is the village that I have visited a few times with The Rock Uganda Missions team. The other two villages are right outside of Jinja, one being the home village of Daniel (story here). I will be visiting for fellowship and also plan on bringing food to prepare. I need to master the Ugandan cooking style :P
• Visiting FriendsThere are so many people who I am excited to see when I come back. Including Josephine and Titus (who will then be newly weds!) and all the beautiful girls at The Fortress, Emma who just launched her ministry The Gem Foundation I am stoked to see her new home all put together and the amazing things that God is doing in her life, Joyce! and her crazy brothers ( Simon and Ben) you can read more about her ministry here! Also, my friend Macey, here's a link to her blog, I am so excited for her and the plans that God has laid out for her life. Also my friend Danielle (wish I could find the link to her blog!),  And of course, Daniel and all of my friends at VCC.
  
  
  
  My main focus for this trip will be culture and language immersion and getting to know the people that I will be ministering to better.
  
  "We forget the example set by Christ who "being in very nature God" did not cling to that identity but instead became not only a Jew, but a servant among Jews (Phil. 2:6-7). We must love the people to whom we minister so much that we are willing to enter their culture as children, to learn how to speak as they speak, play as they play, eat what they eat, sleep where they sleep, study what they study, and thus earn their respect and admiration" (Lingenfelter 1986:25) 
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  ..As most of you know..
  
  

  Love Remedy Inc.

  
  is now official!!
  
  
  One of my roommates just so happens to have a degree in web-design!
  We will be having fun putting my website together.
  
  
  We are excited to launch the website soon!