I felt it appropriate to make a blog post about this because it seems to be the big topic of the week.
It is something I have also thought a lot about while in Uganda.
I want to share with you two other blog posts that I felt did a wonderful job explaining the situation
Before I say anything I want to make it clear that I do not believe
that orphanages are "bad" or that people should stop giving money to support an orphanage.
If we didn't have orphanages there would be even more children
on the streets or left for dead.
Orphanages are vital.
and the children living in orphanages ARE loved by many people.
The care or supplies may not be perfect.
The living conditions most likely are very sad and hard to stomach.
The people working there day after day may seem hard on the outside.
But on the inside they love those children more than you realize.
So it is not far for us to criticize someone who has changed, fed, bathed, cleaned up after
hundreds of children who are not their own and continue to do it day after day.
They continue to care for and fall in love with these children who they
come to know and year after year they see these children come and go.
Some of the endings are happy endings where they have been reunited
or adopted out to a loving family.
But they also loose these children to illness and accidents.
How can we criticize them for seeming hardened. Wouldn't you be a little bit hardened?
But... that's not the point...forgive me for getting off subject.
What I wanted to talk about is how it seems that Orphanages may be encouraging
child abandonment.
This is something that I feel does need to be said and understood.
When people visit an orphanage for the first time they usually assume that all
of those children are orphaned. But honestly that's not the case.
Most of those children were actually abandoned.
The parents may be alive and well but financially or physically unable to care for the child.
Where this becomes a problem though is when people start assuming that
an orphanage is a better atmosphere for that child to grow up,
rather than in a home with their parents.
What is even more sad is that a lot of times these parents who
give up their children to live at an orphanage feel like this is their only option
They want the best for their children and feel like they can not provide
the best so they send them somewhere else.
My questions is why can't we start funding families to help the children
stay at home with their parents?
Some of you may remember my good Friday post this year?
Good Friday truly was a GOOD Friday.
I wrote about baby Daniel and his family. Daniel's father cares for him and
2 other siblings. Daniel's mother died shortly after having Daniel and
3 of Daniel's other siblings have passed away due to Malaria due to lack
of money for proper medical care. Daniel's father is now left
raising 3 children on his own, one being a new born. Do you know
how much work a new born is? Daniel's father often spoke
of bringing Daniel to Sanyu babies home because he felt that he would
have a future that way, but he clearly struggled with that decision.
He loved his baby and did not want to give him up to go
live somewhere else but financially he didn't see any other way.
During my stay I was able to give money to their family
for a nice Easter dinner and several times I was able to
come and visit and bring boxes and boxes of baby porridge.
I didn't realize how desperate the family really was until
one day coming to visit I found that Daniel was very sick.
we immediately took him down to the clinic to get medicine,
I discovered that a week before that they had run out of porridge
and had resorted to feeding him warm sugar water.
The reality of these situations are harsh and it breaks my heart that
families that desperately want to keep their children feel they
must abandon them at an orphanage to give them a better life.
Some of you may remember my good Friday post this year?
Good Friday truly was a GOOD Friday.
I wrote about baby Daniel and his family. Daniel's father cares for him and
2 other siblings. Daniel's mother died shortly after having Daniel and
3 of Daniel's other siblings have passed away due to Malaria due to lack
of money for proper medical care. Daniel's father is now left
raising 3 children on his own, one being a new born. Do you know
how much work a new born is? Daniel's father often spoke
of bringing Daniel to Sanyu babies home because he felt that he would
have a future that way, but he clearly struggled with that decision.
He loved his baby and did not want to give him up to go
live somewhere else but financially he didn't see any other way.
During my stay I was able to give money to their family
for a nice Easter dinner and several times I was able to
come and visit and bring boxes and boxes of baby porridge.
I didn't realize how desperate the family really was until
one day coming to visit I found that Daniel was very sick.
we immediately took him down to the clinic to get medicine,
I discovered that a week before that they had run out of porridge
and had resorted to feeding him warm sugar water.
The reality of these situations are harsh and it breaks my heart that
families that desperately want to keep their children feel they
must abandon them at an orphanage to give them a better life.
Surely if we can feed children at an orphanage can't we also feed
those children at their own homes?
Amazima is the one ministry that I know offers care for children
while still keeping them at home with their parents, I recommend child sponsorship
through Amazima to anyone.
http://amazima.org/
I plan on doing more research on other ministries that also have this option.
I do sponsor some children through Worldvision and I know they also
provide these children care while still being at home with their family.
I only just started sponsorship with Worldvision, if anyone knows more about
them please contact me! I would love to hear more about them from
personal experience.
Because I think it was said well enough the first time I want to quote Rage Against The Minivan
I recognize that orphanage life is the only option for some children. However, I think that the overabundance of churches that are building orphanages are harmful in a number of ways:1. They are taking in poverty orphans. I will say it again: a child should not have to be abandoned at an orphanage to receive aid. If we can feed and educate a child in an orphanage, we can feed and educate a child living at home.
2. They are focused on providing a destination to missions groups. It’s sad to say this, but I’ve heard it from numerous people: the church wants to build an orphanage so they can visit and “love on” orphans when they take short-term trips. NO, PEOPLE. No no no no. Orphans are not mission-trip props.
3. They are motivated by the romanticism of starting an orphanage and how heroic that will make them look. People want their name on the building. It motivates people to donate when they feel ownership. Opening an orphanage looks good on paper. I get it. Still not best practice.
4. They are failing to provide adequate supervision to at-risk children. Orphanages in third-world countries tend to be poorly staffed, with high child-to-caretaker ratios and a high staff turnover. It is rare than an orphanage in a third-world country would meet even the minimum standards to be a licensed childcare facility in the U.S., and yet we are somehow satisfied with sub-standard care because they are poor.
5. They are not focused on permanency planning or family reunification. I cannot tell you have many orphanages I’ve visited where the children have living parents who even visit on weekends and there is absolutely no plan in place to get the kids back home.
6. They are raising children to be ministry partners instead of psychologically healthy adults. I have often heard orphanage directors talk about how they are raising the “future generation of Christian leaders” by raising kids in an orphanage. Except that our goal for kids should be to raise them into adults with a healthy sense of self . . . and the best way to do that is in a family, not in a “future Christian leader warehouse.”
(Link to Article)
I do believe these are things that need to be said.
So now what are we going to do about it?
I think if we spent just as much energy as we do complaining about this broken system
PRAYING about it we would start to get somewhere.
Would you please join me in praying for these families that feel their only option is to abandon their child and that they would receive the help that they need to provide for their family rather than have their families broken apart?
I do believe these are things that need to be said.
So now what are we going to do about it?
I think if we spent just as much energy as we do complaining about this broken system
PRAYING about it we would start to get somewhere.
Would you please join me in praying for these families that feel their only option is to abandon their child and that they would receive the help that they need to provide for their family rather than have their families broken apart?
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